What am I made for?
Like everyone, I know there is something I was made for. But what? We all get sucked into doing what we need to do to survive. Most of the time we end up with something we’re good at, but that doesn’t mean it’s something we actually want to do, or were ‘built for’.
I’m good at my job. I’ve made wonderful friends there. I work hard and I make a decent living, but it’s not fulfilling to me. Not at all. Let me stop here to say that nothing on Earth will ever fulfill us like Jesus. Nothing. Ever. It’s not like I’m looking for a meaning to my life. I have one. Jesus lives in me and has for many years. I have a close relationship with him. The years since I started really putting him first have been the happiest of my life. What I’m talking about is what does he want me to do? What am I MADE for?
There are lots of personality tests out there. Trust me, I don’t know the names of all of them. I know of the Myers/Briggs and the Enneagram, but that’s all I’ve got right now! Ha! A lot of my friends and people I really admire swear by the Enneagram, so that’s what I decided to check out.
The book The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron and Susan Stabile was very highly recommended, so that’s where I started. It explains what the Enneagram is and it’s likely origination and then starts into the types. This book starts with Type 8 because it’s starting at the top of the wheel. (Read the book or even Google Enneagram-this post isn’t in depth about that) I read Type 8 and found a little of myself in it, but not much. Moved on to Type 9 and I latched on. Seriously. I was sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was a 9. That clouded my reading on the rest of the book.
I did see parts of me in other Types but I was so sure about 9. By the end of the book, I was more confused than ever. I had been so sure, but some of the other Types looked like me, too….I just didn’t know. Nines have a tendency to ‘meld themselves’ into other people. I do that to a fault. I used to want to be like my sister, so I adopted some of her likes and dislikes. I still do that. I’m so easily swayed by people I love. It’s the thing about me that annoys me the most. It’s also why I knew I wasn’t living my life the way I was made!
More confused than ever, I took an online Enneagram test. While I wasn’t trusting the results so much, I thought if I answered the questions completely honestly, as I am, not as I want to be, maybe it would give me some direction. I decided I’d investigate the top 2 or 3 possibilities. #1 was Type 4, then I think 3, 7 and 9. So, I reread type 4 in the book, as well as another book I had bought. I also read up on it online. It’s me. To a T.
Reading up on the dramatics and desire to be ‘special’ that Type 4s have, I just knew. I felt a sense of peace and comfort come over me. I have somewhere to start! I need to learn to let the good parts of Type 4 show their shiny, dramatic, artsy fartsy faces and work on curbing the not so good as well! This has shaped my direction. I’ll be writing and crafting more (artsy fartsy) now and I’m so excited about it!
God made me the drama queen I am. I’m gonna harness that power now, for His glory. Not for my ego…but to make Him famous. Honestly, if you’re a believer or not, you should check in to one of the personality tests. I really like the Enneagram because it does have a Christian background, but I think any will help you to be who you were MEANT to be!